Help, The ice in my cocktails is melting, what should I do? Seems to me it used to last a lot longer. Could it be global warming, or maybe I%26#039;m just not downing them as fast as I used to?

Best Answer

Melting ice is a sign of man-made global warming.

Quickly, turn towards the UN head quarters, fall to your knees and repeat after me:

Global warming is real and it%26#039;s my fault.
Global warming is real and it%26#039;s my fault.
Global warming is real and it%26#039;s my fault.

Now encourage all Americans to pay carbon taxes, replace your light bulbs with CFLs and trade your Hummer in for an electric scooter.

Asker's Rating:

Oh great advice! Thanks a lot.
I bowed towards the UN and spilled my drink. Man this global warming thing is killing me. Thanks.

Other Answers (9)

• Nothing. Since it%26#039;s not land based ice, it won%26#039;t raise sea levels.
• %26quot;I%26#039;ll drink to that%26quot;...think about it ...ice just dilutes the alcohol.
  
  How come I can only answer questions like this when I%26#039;m drunk?
• Well if that confuses you then I suppose it%26#039;s time to stop drinking for today.
• Joke part deleted!
  
  A thought just occurred to me: To slow down the melting of ice cubes or stop it entirely you could move to the AArctic North Pole. But do it quick bec I hear the place is melting fast bec -you guessed it - bec of GW. Great Q!
• Has nothing to do with global warming. You need to talk less and drink faster.
• drink faster
• REC
• My friends, it happens to all of us as we get older. We just can%26#039;t drink like we used to!
• By all means, emit less carbon.
  
  How have you measured this? In a controlled study over a number of years under the same conditions?
  
  Otherwise this is a really subjective statement. It can have to to with the temperature in your glass, the kind ofalcohol, the temperature of the ice (Ice can be colder than freezing, after all).
  
  It probably has to do with your breathing as well, because along with carbon dioxide, you emit a lot of hot air.